My fascination with the male body and all its glory began in the early 90's, when hunks Gardo Versoza, Cesar Montano, and Jestoni Alarcon graced my TV; them in their skimpy undies and glistening hard, tan bodies. Seeing them in their briefs made me hot and filled me with an overwhelming desire to touch them, taste them, feel them. My earliest (and best) fantasies always involved them, a rice field, the sun, and me riding their hard, sweaty bodies- me on top, feeling every inch of raw flesh inside me. Their intense gaze would always, always get me excited, and seeing their tans, accentuating every muscle, every inch of man-hotness made me mad with desire. And I knew that I was wired differently. That I wanted and lusted after men; hard-bodied moreno men. And mind you, I was just 5 or 6 years old then.
Cut to 2002 (I was 16 years old) when I started really being with these kinds of men. The need to enact the fantasies of my childhood still withstanding, I found out that there was something really exciting about seeing my hands caressing their bodies, their tan skin in sharp contrast with mine. Their muscles bulging, veins protruding. And it always has to be me riding them, which I think alludes to the added feel and thought of me having power over them, that I am in control. Because after all, sex is power.
I wonder, what was your Gaywakening?
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